At the beginning of my marriage, my husband shared with me the importance of writing our own script. This has nothing to do with a screenplay in the sense of creating a movie but more so about the foundation for which we function in life. You, too, can write your own script!
What does it mean to write your own script?
It means deciding what's important to you and in the event of marriage or in an important relationship, it's connecting this ideal with that other person and the two of you defining what that looks like together.
Our basis is that there are no expectations. This was quite confusing to me at the beginning. What does that even mean, "no expectations?!" Over the years, I've learned that there is no model that we have to follow. If we have role models in our lives that we value and respect, we don't even have to emulate them. We decide what our life together looks like. It also means that we don't have to change ourselves to fit into a box or an assumption of what the other requires. Bottom line, with trust, respect, and love, we can live our lives authentically and with appreciation for one another. We don't have to subscribe to what society says we must do or not do. At the beginning, this ideal felt uncertain and unfamiliar, but nowadays, it feels good to live out our lives in what honors the other without losing ourselves in the process.
We also came into the marriage 100% - 100%. A whole person loving another whole person. Perhaps our perspective about marriage is different than what you've heard, did, or are considering. And, that's OK. We all get to decide what makes us happy, complete, successful, and fulfilled.
How does this story tie into wellness? I believe we are all searching for our purpose and desiring to design our life that gives us meaning and fulfillment. Some of us have found it and are actively living it out but there's no finish line, until you're no longer here. When it's your turn to transition, your loved ones may vicariously live through your memory.
Right now though, you're moving forward and there's more to uncover including your greatest potential. Keep growing in your awareness including learning, relearning, and unlearning. You have the power to rewrite the narrative, flip the script, and design your life on your terms.
What's the good word?
You're here! You are reading this post, and you're still here. Who in your life has poured into you so that you would be here today? Who comes to mind first, second, third, etc., when you think about the steps you've taken to get to this point in life? Let your mind fill up with the abundance of goodness from those who have shared a good word or encouraged you as you sought out the next mile marker along your journey.
When I think about why I do what I do, several people and professors come to mind. The one I want to share with you today is Dr. Bob Schaller from the College of Southern Maryland (CSM). I had the privilege of taking several of his business and economic classes in the early 2000s. He told me once, "I can see you in law school. You ought to consider it. It's a lot of education and I'm confident you would soar. You're a big picture mixed with details kind of person."
Evidently, I chose a different direction but to remember these words almost 20 years ago still makes me smile that someone could see so much potential in me. I learned to see the possibilities of what I could accomplish on my own and then even more with a significant other, a mother, and then later as a health coach pouring into others. Sometimes we find it difficult or even impossible to lean into what others have said that lifted our spirits - we let it become temporary and fleeting. Today set an intention to let the negativity roll off your back and embrace empowering words and advice. Allow those words and good deeds to stick and carry you through the curves on the roads ahead.
Are you desiring more insight?
What is your familiarity with personality assessments? When I was at CSM, I took the Myers-Briggs test (MBTI) and learned that I was an INFJ. Even after marrying, becoming a mom, and working in health & wellness, I am still the same. Truthfully, I wanted to gain more insight about who I am and what career would I shine in. Then about 10 years after taking the MBTI, I learned about 16 Personalities. No matter how often I took this assessment, the result was the same. Some say the test results are flawed because the results can be different. I must be an anomaly! Then in 2021, I learned about the DISC Assessment and paid for the full report. (You can take the 16 Personalities online at no cost. If you want the full report, you'll have to pay for that. If you want more information on the DISC Assessment, you can contact Ericka Enterprises and order your report and sit with her virtually for a debrief.) All three assessments gave me the exact same result!
Any guesses on what that is?
Advocate! When Dr. Schaller said law school, he said a defense attorney. He said that he saw my heart for serving others. That rings true for me since the first grade. I remember sitting behind one of my classmates who was vision impaired and the teacher was giving her a hard time for not keeping up. I kept helping her (not giving her the answers) but quietly reading what was on the chalk board. Mrs. Price did not like that I helped her but I got in trouble anyway.
Who are you when no one else is looking? What do you want or need in your life to move forward? Where are you going?
You get to decide what your life will look like: how you will parent, what type of partner you will be in a relationship, what type of friend you will be, what type of employee or self employed person you will be, what type of neighbor you will be, and ultimately, who you are. As we age, we evolve. As we evolve, our preferences change, as do our needs and values. Be open to the process and embrace who you are in this season and where you're headed. Write the script of your life today. Who will be there? -- You! You got this - I'm rooting for you!
In the Woman's Advantage Shared Wisdom calendar, one of my quotes was published on January 1, 2014. Let this marinate:
"Reflect on where you've been; embrace where you are; envision where you'll go." - Jessica David
Disclaimer: This blog post is not intended to treat, cure, diagnose, or prevent any disease, condition, or ailment. This information is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Speak with your health care provider to see how/if it pertains to your individual needs.
The purpose of this website is to offer support for your health goals. Jessica David is a Master Certified Health Coach and is not a healthcare practitioner.
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